Divorce Mediation is considered to be the most civilized, cost effective and by far the least stressful way to get divorced.
These reasons are why couples choose to use Divorce Mediation; they simply make sense and for many couples, they most importantly are of great benefit to their Children and divorce.
Below are five ways in which Divorce Mediation benefits your children:
1. It is the most Civilized and Healthy way for a family to go through a divorce.
For many divorcing couples, having even basic conversation can be difficult because of the slew of emotions which are all heightened. During divorce mediation, a mediator (trained professional neutral) will guide you and the conversation through the necessary topics including child issues, asset and liability issues and cash flow issues (budgeting, child support, alimony).
Children are observant. They do notice behaviors any many times mirror those behaviors. By divorcing through mediation you are showing your children by example that tough things can be handled in calm, healthy ways.
2. It is far less stressful then using traditional legal representation (litigation) on the entire family.
A skilled mediator will help guide the conversation and zero in on the essential, relevant information which will help lessen the tension.
We all know stress and tension sits with us and permeates into all aspects of our everyday life and that includes how you act and interact with your children. It is the tension you want to keep from impacting the children.
A Tip we pass onto our clients: Leave the mediation in the mediation room. Don't leave and start discussing what was said, implied and so on during the session. Let it go. When the urge to talk about it, yell about it, think and re-think some more creeps in, instead do some healthy for yourself- exercise, read, play with your kids instead. Remember your children will now be children of divorce.
3. Divorce Mediation is a process that will educate you and put you in control.
Let experienced mediators make the complicated understandable. How can anyone make a smart decision if they don't know or understand the parameters of Massachusetts Family Law surrounding divorce.
Mediation vs. Litigation - Sometimes, when using traditional representation (litigation through the court system), your intention and your goals for how to move through your divorce get sidelined by the legal system and the Attorneys involved. Things get complicated. Divorce Mediation allows you the ability to stay in control. The agreement you and your spouse reach and the way you get there is up to you. With the help of your Mediator, you will have a divorce agreement that is tailored specifically for you and your family.
4. It is a much quicker process as opposed to divorce representation (traditional litigation).
With divorce mediation, the speed of the overall process is up to you and your ability to gather the information necessary to make smart decisions. Generally the entire divorce mediation process (including preparation of all mandatory court documents) is typically a few months whereas litigating your divorce in the court system will likely be one year plus.
A few months vs. one year plus is major to a person's ability to truly be able to move forward, whether personally or professionally. And, to a child, this time is precious.
5. It is far less costly than traditional attorney representation.
Keep in mind when you choose to litigate, everything your attorney is doing is being done by your spouse's attorney, which results in double costs for their efforts and expert fees and less left for you when all is said and done. Why not put the money towards your children's needs (present and future). Divorce Mediation is the least expensive way to divorce.
Another Tip: Choose a Mediator who is also an experienced Family Law Attorney, because they are licensed and capable of not only educating you on the multiple issues you must discuss and reach agreement on but also able to prepare all the required documentation that you will need to enter into the court. (Not all mediators are attorneys).
In summary, Divorce Mediation covers all aspects of divorce (financial and emotional) on the entire family unit. Unlike attorney representation, a mediator will examine with the couple how their decisions about their divorce may emotionally impact them as individuals and their children both in the near future and further down the line when the dust has settled. In addition, a good mediator will discuss how to deal with these changes, how to move on, how to relate to one other after the divorce, how to both enjoy their children and their futures.
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